Tuesday, June 18, 2013

What I remember

Memories have always fascinated me.  

Missing memories

When I was little girl I suffered from a concussion. I was on my way to school in winter, and was sliding on little hills and playing around. At a certain point I fell and hit my head on the frozen ground. My sister walked me to school and the janitor brought me home in his car. My mom called the doctor. I don't have any recollection of this at all. But I have vivid images in my head when I write this down. Like memories. Even though I know they aren't. They feel like real memories.

Same event, different memories

When I was an adolescent, my parents divorced. My mom, my dad, my sisters, my brother, me, everyone has different memories of it, even about the order of events.  Similarly, After Mr Reg and me visit friends or a new place, he will talk about things he saw there. I remember conversations I had, things people have said to each other and the presence of certain people. We know we were at the same place at the same time, but we remember different things and remember the same things differently.

Reappearing memories

I wrote about my first kinky sexual experiences in a previous post. The thing that doesn't seize to amaze me is that the memories of my kinky sex life disappeared completely. Mr Reg and me started in a vanilla relation, and I slowly forgot the kinky things my former boyfriend used to do. Not deliberately, but somehow it happened anyway. When Mr Reg and me started to be kinky in the bed room, it did not come back to me. Only after meeting someone else, who asked me about my fantasies and previous experiences, these memories came back to me. Not all at once, but slowly. And I realized I had more experience than I knew. It felt like I reinvented myself, but a healthier happier version than before.

New memories

I have a very active mind. However, I am very bad at remembering names, or even faces. I am not a visually oriented person. If you take me to a city, I won't remember 90% of the places we visit. Not that I don't enjoy it, I just don't remember. But I do remember parts of the conversation we have during that trip. And the feeling it gave me being with you. If we have sex, I might forget what your body looks like exactly. But I will remember what you whispered in my ear. And how it felt to be with you. What we talked about. When I think of you, I think of your presence, your energy. I think of the things you have said to me. I think of what you feel like. And then, but only then... I might think of what you look like.

Obviously, I like to look at gorgeous bodies just as much as the next girl. But what I remember, that is a completely different story and very personal..... memories have always fascinated me.

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