Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Am I promiscuous? You tell me!


  1. having many transient sexual relationships
  2. demonstrating an unselective approach; indiscriminate or casual
Am I promiscuous? Let's see...

No I am not

I used to be, before I met Mr Reg. I wrote about that in a previous post. I am not promiscuous anymore: I don't have many transient sexual relationships. I do have more than one sexual partner, but in general they are not transient, they last over a period of time. And I don't have many, just a couple. And I most certainly don't demonstrate an unselective approach.  I don't want to have sex with just anybody. There needs to be something that attracts me. There are things I like, and things I don't like. These things can be physical, mental, psychological or behavioral. And I prefer situations where there is a click and we meet more often than just once.

Yes I am

If you look at it from another perspective, I am very promiscuous. Compared to most married women, I have many sexual relationships. Because the norm in our society is one. And these relationships can be considered transient if you compare it to a 15+ years marriage. You might say they are casual: I don't expect anything in return: I am not looking for something specific, or a commitment. I don't have an intense relationship with my other sexual partners, compared to the relationship I have with my husband. And in some situations I am indiscriminate: if Mr Reg wants me to have sex with someone, I have sex with that person. No questions asked. And in my (one time) experience with a gangbang, I demonstrated extremely unselective and casual behavior: I was not very interested in the people that were participating (fucking me). I simply enjoyed the experience and the feeling of being used.

You tell me

I have been married for 17 years now.  Our marriage has evolved from a vanilla relationship to a M/s relationship. I don't think I could be more dedicated to anyone than I am to Mr Reg. I love meeting new people. I do have other sexual partners. They are not committed to the relationship, and neither am I. I do value them, as I described before. I hope they last for as long as it works out for all people involved. They all enrich my life in their own way and I appreciate that. I enjoy every aspect of it. It makes me happy. Thinking about it makes me smile.

So........ you tell me: am I promiscuous?

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  1. I like how you play devil's advocate here to look at both sides of the equation. In the end, the only perception that matters is that of the participants.

    ~Kazi xxx

  2. I agree with Kazi, what matters is that all the parties are enjoying themselves and are comfortable with it.


  3. I think that we should not put a name tag on it, other than that you are enjoying your (sexual) life :)

    I especially like that thinking about how you enjoy every aspect of it, puts a smile on your face.

    Rebel xox

  4. Does it matter if you are "promiscuous" or not?

    I would say, by the dictionary definition of the word, you are not. By society's standards, maybe you are.

    But I would say it doesn't matter if everyone is happy!

  5. Dictionaries are written by people who don't get out and have fun enough!

    Rachel x

  6. Is being promiscuous a bad thing?

  7. yes and no ;)
    I would never be the judge of another in this realm. There are some who would call you life a well rounded series of experiences and others who would gasp in horror as you have allowed your body to be used my more than one man.
    As for me, if it feels right and all parties are in agreement let happen what will happen.

  8. As long as you and those around you are happy then what does it matter. Its just another label.....

    ~Mia~ xx

  9. Promiscuous or not depends indeed on the perspective (or the moment you discuss this). I think that if you would discuss this on your work or your neighbourhood (in all openness, in the 'reserved-mode') people would say that you are promiscuous. On the other hand, if you would had this discussion with people you like (and who like you), I think the answer will be much more thoughtful.
    I think all your readers won't think that you are promiscuous, we like to read your blogs because we are open minded and like your to share our thoughts with each other.